A Cake From New York


Today marks 7 years of marriage for Sarah and I! Even though we have been together for over a decade, it still feels like yesterday that we fell in love. 

I’ve written other sappy posts about my best friend, so I’ll keep it short and summarize our relationship by saying this: 

We have been through it all. Thick and thin. For richer and poorer. We have come so far in life together and we will only go farther. Together we will conquer our hopes, dreams and maybe the world. I love you Sarah Elizabeth Newton!

Now let’s talk about the title of this post. A Cake From New York. 

I work with some amazing people, one being Nancy Bryant, who I have talked about before. She has become a great friend and my “mom” while I am at work. She makes sure I am fed and always has candy around for me I need to stress eat. 🙂 

Another, who I won’t name just incase they are apart of the witness protection program, recently started at my company and is all around a nice guy. Now I don’t know much about him nor does he know much about me, but he still took it upon himself, in cahoots with Nancy, to make our wedding anniversary special. 

Though I don’t know much about him I do know he has an affinity for sweets. This is one subject that he and I can agree on. One day I was raving about a bakery in Cincinnati and he mentioned a really good him in New York where he is from. He went on to say that when his parent visit they typically bring him something from there and when they come next he will make sure to let me try something. Uhhhh. Sign me up. 

Little did I know that this “something for you to try” would end up being a gorgeously decorated cake for Sarah and I! 


Almond buttercream icing covered a moist yellow cake. Talk about salivating. This thing was amazing. 

I still do not know all of the details but I do know that two very thoughtful people took time out of their busy lives to make our anniversary special. For that I am very grateful!

See Sarah, we can have our cake and eat it too!

The 50/50 Rule

Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.

-Hugh Mackay

I don’t know everything about relationships, nor do I claim to be an expert, but I like to think that I do have some things figured out – and relationships are one of them. I also don’t sit behind my keyboard thinking I do relationships perfectly. I mess up. We all do. The money is when you can find value in those imperfect moments. The thought process that I am about to introduce can be applied to any type of relationship, but I will focus on one between a married couple.
I also must preface this post by admitting that I didn’t just wake up and have this concept figured out. A very good friend told Sarah and I this once, and it has stuck ever since!

OK… * drum roll * here it is: 

Relationships can be 80/20. They can be 70/30. Hell at times they can be 90/10. But what they can’t be is 100/0, nor can they be anything other than 50/50 for very long. 

Let me unpack this, ok? There are going to be times when a party in the relationship needs to be weak and not carry their weight. Thus, there are times when the other party is going to have to carry all of the weight! That. Is. Ok. What is NOT ok is when one member of the relationship is forced to ALWAYS carry all of the weight. 

Like the moon, relationships will wane and wax, but they must always become whole again for things to work out!

Like I said this concept can be applied to any type of relationship. Take a platonic friendship for example. Let’s imagine that you are the friend that always invites the other person to do things, or always initiates the conversation. You are giving 100%. The other person rarely accepts, and sometimes doesn’t even answer! They are giving 0%. Zilch. Notta. Nothing. 

I bet Mr. 100 sure feels pretty shitty. This type of relationship will never work. Eventually Mr. 100 will give up and move on. 

I’ll also bet that it didn’t take you long to imagine yourself as Mr. 100. I’ll raise my bet by saying that you could also play the role of Mr. Zero. We all do it. 

Now Sarah and I are more than friends so let’s get back to that. 

There has been plenty of times when one of us is weak and has to be carried by the other. There are also times when we are both weak and are just barely holding each other up. 

Again – That. Is. Ok. 

The scales of a relationship can tip in anyone favor periodically, as long as they come back to center eventually. 

Now don’t be fooled into thinking that Sarah and I are just the perfect couple and have it all figured out. Hell. No. 

But as I said in the beginning – The money is when you can find value in those imperfect moments. Those moments of weakness. Those moments when you have to carry your partner through hell, holding on to the thought that they would do the same for you. 

My Top 5 Regrets…so far. 


We all have things we regret. We regret we didn’t say something or we regret not doing that one thing. Some regrets are small, trivial even, while some are life altering. 

I am still young and bound to have more regrets as I age, but here are my Top 5 so far. 

  1. I regret not going to senior prom. Sarah and I were about a year into our relationship at time and due to the age difference she wasn’t allowed to attend. Hindsight I wish I would have gone, just to say I did. This is for sure a trivial regret!
  2. I regret not getting to know Sarah’s dad more. Doug and I had a rocky relationship. Mostly due to the fact that I operate with a “burn me too many times and I’ll drop you like a bad habit” attitude. This is certainly a life changing regret. I’ll never get that time back. My hard heart attitude is something I am working on, but it’s hard! You could say my abnormal super power is the ability to just shut people off if I feel it’s necessary. I know that sounds horrible! But….I’m working on it. 
  3. I regret not going to college directly after high school. Even though this is a regret, this was also something that wasn’t completely in my control!
  4. I regret making excuses and not sticking to the diet and exercise regimen that I put into place 3 years ago. I have gained every single pound I lost (and then some) back. 3 years ago I was the happiest, and lightest, I have EVER been. I still continue to make excuse after excuse. Consiquently I continue to slip deeper and deeper into the dark void of depression. At the current point in my life, this is my largest regret.
  5. I regret taking sooooo damn long to finally stick up for myself! Saying no, putting my foot down, not letting others walk all over me, etc. etc. I was a doormat at times. Part of this had a lot to do with how I gauged my self worth. I used to think I was worth nothing. I of course still have moments of weakness and flash back to this way of thinking, but overall I have done a much better job. 

I need a Pepsi after that one…

So what about you? What are things you regret?

A Thousand Words

I failed to preface the first creative writing post with a warning, so here goes!

Not everything is rainbows and comedy with me. Sometimes my Moments are darker.

Starting this blog has been immensely cathartic, and after another rough week I felt drawn to my keyboard to write.

Anxiety and depressions ARE REAL and it is something I deal with EVERYDAY. This poem is free-verse representation of how I feel some days –  especially this week.

Don’t really enjoy the darker (and raw) Moments? That is OK, but do me a favor. Acknowledge someone with anxiety or depression and let them know it is OK, and that you are there for them.


michal-grosicki-221225.jpgA THOUSAND WORDS
I smile for all to see.
That’s who I’m supposed to be.

I smile for all to see.
But that’s not really me.

Inside rages a storm. A storm that will not cease.
Inside I battle the knights, of doubt and disbelief.

My fear takes hold. What will I do?
My fear takes hold. I can’t breakthrough.

How can I be who I’m supposed to be?

They say a smile is worth a thousands words.
But the words that others see are not me.

A thousand words read, but still they know nothing.

Blinded by that belief that all is well.

But inside a wave begins to swell.
A wave of anxiety that takes hold of me.

How can I be who I’m supposed to be?

Caught in the riptide of myself, struggling for the surface.

I smile for all to see.
That’s who I’m supposed to be.